Kiss It Better

My poor little Ashlyn has been through a lot. Ever since she was born she's always had some medical problem she was struggling with. Acid Reflux as a baby, her skin reactions which we found out is hayfever allergies, and then there's her problems with her digestion/peeing. When Ashlyn was an infant she started getting Urinary Tract Infections, which are really rare in young kids. By her 4th or 5th infection, her doctor had her checked out at Primary Children's Hospital. We found out she had Urinary Reflux which is a condition where when they pee, some of their urine goes back into their kidneys and causes infections. They told us most kids who have this will outgrow it by the time they are 2 years and that they would put her on a daily antibiotic to prevent infections and retest her around her birthday each year. So far we've done 2 tests and the relux has not gotten any better. There is nothing worse than watching your little girl being strapped down to a table, getting a catheter stuck in her, and being inflicted with pain for a long time while you wait there helplessly. She just looks at you crying her little eyes out, saying ouchie! ouchie!, and asking you to hold her. Oh man it is so hard and I don't think I could go without Bret by my side helping me cope. So as a result of her condition not going away, we had to keep her on daily antibiotics. Well as most people know, antibiotics kill off bacteria- some of which is good bacteria, so as a result Ashlyn had constant diarhhea and lots of bad diaper rashes. We finally couldn't take it anymore and the doctor told us it was ok to take her off the meds for awhile so we could try to re-culture her stomach. This worked for a little while and I was able to potty train Ashlyn during this period but then she started having problems again. Since she was no longer on meds we thought maybe she was lactose and tolerant or something. We took her off milk and she did good for a few days but sure enough the bad bowel movements came back again. So it was back to diapers and farewell to potty training. She has been asking me a lot lately if she can use the big girl potty and I keep giving excuses why she can't wear her big girl underwear yet. I feel guilty as a mom because I always had an excuse to why she was having problems- oh it's the meds, or she's lactose and tolerant. Now I feel like I let it go on for so long when I should have buckled down and got her problems looked at much sooner. Right now we are in the process of doing tons and tons of tests on her to see what is going on. Some possibilities they are looking at were ciliac disease, some powerful bacteria that can grow from being on antibiotics for a long time that won't let you digest nutrients, lactose and tolerant issues, etc. We went to the lab just yesterday for more tests and they took Ashlyn's blood. Oh man watching your child struggle through these tests is hard. Bret had to hold Ashlyn in his lap making sure she didn't move and I had to hold her arm straight so they could draw her blood. The lady went straight through her little vain and blood started instantly pooling under her skin. It left a huge bruise and her little arm was in pain all day. She must think we are so cruel to put her through all this. She hates going to the doctor and I always have to tell her this is a "No Ouchie time" when she goes for checkups. My poor girl! I pray we can find out what is going on in her little body. I know once we find out what's wrong, things will be a lot better for her. She can get potty trained again and be a normal, happy little girl. Until then, I will keep my fingers crossed and hope for the best. If I could, I would just kiss it all better!